In this episode of Grandma Has ADHD, Jami Shapiro sits down with ADHD coach Shelley Fritz for a refreshingly honest and grounded conversation about what it really means to live with ADHD, especially when you’ve spent years thinking your struggles were personal failures.

For many adults, particularly women diagnosed later in life, ADHD shows up as chronic self-criticism, guilt, and the feeling that you just can’t get it together. Shelley shares her own journey from believing she was “a mess” to understanding how her brain actually works and how that shift changed everything.

Together, Jami and Shelley talk about redefining success, setting realistic expectations, and finding ways to make life feel more manageable not by pushing harder, but by working with your brain.

This is a conversation about letting go of shame, lowering the bar in a meaningful way, and creating a life that actually feels good to live.

What You’ll Learn

• Why so many adults with ADHD believe their struggles are character flaws
• How late diagnosis can shift your entire self-perception
• The connection between ADHD, anxiety, and emotional dysregulation
• Why “feeling like a mess” is a common ADHD experience
• How to set smaller, achievable goals that build momentum
• Why defining your own version of success matters
• How guilt can block you from doing things you actually enjoy
• The importance of planning for both productivity and fun
• Why visual systems and simple tools can be so effective
• How ADHD shows up consistently across different life stages

Why This Matters

Many people with ADHD spend decades believing they are the problem. This episode is a reminder that the goal isn’t perfection, it’s feeling better, little by little.

When you begin to understand your brain and adjust your expectations, things can start to feel more manageable, and the weight of constant self-judgment can begin to lift.

The ADHD Button Question

Jami asks every guest: If there were a button that could remove your ADHD forever, would you press it?

Shelley’s answer is no.

While ADHD has brought challenges, it has also shaped who she is — and understanding it has allowed her to move from frustration toward acceptance and growth.

About the Guest

Shelley Fritz is an ADHD coach and former special education teacher with over 20 years of experience working with students with learning differences. After discovering her own ADHD later in life, she transitioned into coaching adults, helping them build routines, manage time, and better understand their brains in a supportive, non-judgmental space.

Website: https://youradhdpath.com

About the Host

Jami Shapiro is an ADHD coach, speaker, and founder of Silver Linings Transitions. Through her podcast Grandma Has ADHD, she brings awareness to ADHD in older adults, especially women, helping listeners better understand their brains and navigate life with more clarity and compassion.

Resources

• Your ADHD Path: https://youradhdpath.com 
• This Explains So Much by Jami Shapiro
• Allow Me To Interrupt by Dr. Gilly Kahnshell
• ADHD coaching and support resources

Links & Support

• Website: https://www.jamishapiro.me
• Silver Linings Transitions: Support for downsizing, organizing, and life transitions
• Book: This Explains So Much by Jami Shapiro

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Follow Jami Shapiro for more conversations on ADHD, aging, and understanding your brain