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We don’t outgrow ADHD, we simply change with it. Join hosts Jami and Justin as we explore the intersection of ADHD and seniors.

Episode 102 – Why ADHD & Autism Look Different in Women

Why do so many women reach adulthood before realizing they have ADHD, autism, or both?

In this episode of Grandma Has ADHD, Jami Shapiro sits down with Dr. Karen Albert Saporito, a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in diagnosing and supporting adults with ADHD and autism. With more than 10,000 diagnostic evaluations under her belt, Dr. Saporito brings a unique perspective on why women and girls are so often overlooked.

Jami and Karen talk about masking, perfectionism, social expectations, and the ways women may learn to compensate for their differences so well that even they lose sight of what comes naturally and what they’ve learned to do in order to fit in.

Karen also shares her own experience of discovering ADHD later in life after seeing it in her children, and why receiving a diagnosis as an adult can be so healing. Rather than simply putting a label on someone’s behavior, the right diagnosis can help remove shame, provide context for lifelong struggles, and allow people to reframe who they thought they were.

What You’ll Learn

  • Why ADHD and autism can present differently in women and girls
  • How social expectations can contribute to masking and camouflage
  • Why perfectionism and appearing “organized” don’t necessarily rule out ADHD
  • How women may intentionally learn the social rules others seem to understand naturally
  • Why ADHD and autism can be difficult to separate into neat categories
  • What a thorough adult ADHD evaluation should consider
  • Why diagnosis involves more than recognizing a checklist of ADHD symptoms
  • How childhood report cards, relationships, routines, and personal history can provide important clues
  • Why receiving an ADHD diagnosis later in life can help reduce shame
  • How our understanding of neurodivergence may continue to evolve

ADHD, Autism & the Bigger Picture

Karen challenges the idea that ADHD and autism always fit into completely separate boxes.

She believes our understanding of neurodivergence will continue to evolve as researchers study more diverse populations and clinicians become better at recognizing ADHD and autism in adults, women, girls, and people who don’t fit the historically stereotypical presentations.

The ADHD Button Question

Jami asks every guest: If you could press a button and make your ADHD disappear forever, would you?

Karen doesn’t hesitate: No.

While she acknowledges that being neurodivergent can make life genuinely difficult, she also emphasizes the importance of removing stigma and recognizing the creativity, individuality, humor, and strengths she sees in the people she works with.

Karen’s ADHD Hack

Her answer might be controversial in ADHD circles: a planner.

Karen has used the same brand since graduate school. For her, writing things down and keeping them in one consistent place provides a visual picture of her days and weeks and helps keep her grounded.

The key isn’t finding another shiny new planner. It’s actually surrendering to the one that works and making it part of everyday life.

About Dr. Karen Albert Saporito

Dr. Karen Albert Saporito is a licensed clinical psychologist and founder and clinical director of Integrative Psychology Associates of South Jersey. She specializes in diagnosing and supporting adults with ADHD and autism and has performed more than 10,000 diagnostic evaluations.

She serves on the board of the American Professional Society of ADHD and Related Disorders (APSARD), is part of the APSARD U.S. Guidelines Task Force working to develop nationwide standards for adult ADHD diagnosis and treatment, and co-chairs its Women and Girls Special Interest Group.

About Jami

Jami Shapiro is an ADHD coach, speaker, author, and founder of Silver Linings Transitions. Through Grandma Has ADHD, she creates honest conversations about ADHD, aging, late diagnosis, and what it means to finally understand the way your brain works.

Connect with Dr. Karen Saporito

Connect with Jami

If you’re discovering ADHD or autism later in life, this conversation is a reminder that it’s never too late to understand yourself differently.

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