The Podcast

We don’t outgrow ADHD, we simply change with it. Join hosts Jami and Justin as we explore the intersection of ADHD and seniors.

Episode 49 – The Pressure to be “Perfect”

In this eye-opening and heartfelt episode, Jami Shapiro welcomes healthcare professional, patient advocate, and fellow ADHDer Kayva Jha for a conversation that bridges deeply personal experience with professional insight.

From discovering ADHD in her own family to navigating perfectionism, eating disorders, and the healthcare system, Kayva’s story shines a light on the hidden ways ADHD shapes our lives—especially for women. She shares how perfectionism can mask ADHD symptoms, how self-worth often gets tangled in achievement, and why nutrition and mental health are deeply connected.

Jami and Kayva also explore the surprising link between ADHD and chronic health issues, the challenges of compliance with medical care, and the life-changing role of social connection in recovery. Together, they break down how stigma, shame, and lack of awareness can delay ADHD diagnosis for decades—and how self-acceptance can open the door to healing.

Whether you’re living with ADHD, supporting someone who is, or curious about the mind-body connection, this conversation will inspire you to honor your strengths, seek help when you need it, and never give up on yourself.

When Perfectionism Masks ADHD

Kayva shares her personal journey—from recognizing ADHD traits in her grandfather at 80 to her own diagnosis in young adulthood. She reveals how perfectionism and a need for control became her way of overcompensating for ADHD challenges. Eventually, it spiraled into disordered eating.

Her story sheds light on the hidden emotional cost of perfectionism for ADHDers, including:

  • Tying self-worth to appearance and achievement
  • Struggling with object permanence and self-doubt
  • Feeling “not enough” when faced with simple tasks
  • Masking challenges to meet external expectations

The Nutrition–ADHD Connection

One of Kayva’s key insights is how nutrition impacts ADHD focus and clarity. She explains that eating whole, clean foods made her brain feel sharper and more organized. She first noticed this during her eating disorder but later learned to approach it in a healthy way. Jami and Kayva explore how small, sustainable dietary shifts can improve focus, mood, and brain health.

Mental Health, Chronic Illness, and Compliance Challenges

Drawing from her work in wound care, Kayva reveals the overlap between ADHD, depression, and chronic illness. Many patients struggle to follow care plans. It’s not from a lack of willpower but because ADHD and mood disorders make consistency and organization difficult.

They discuss:

  • The social isolation that worsens health outcomes
  • How shame and stigma keep people from seeking help
  • Why “one-size-fits-all” medical care doesn’t work
    The role of compassion and practical support in patient recovery

Why This Episode Matters

Late ADHD diagnosis often brings relief, grief, and renewed self-understanding. This episode reminds us that:

  • ADHD doesn’t fade with age—it just hides in different ways
  • Perfectionism isn’t always a strength—it can be a coping strategy
  • Nutrition and lifestyle choices can transform ADHD brain health
    You’re not broken—you just need tools that work with your brain

Whether you’ve just been diagnosed, suspect you have ADHD, or want to understand the link between brain and physical health, this conversation offers hope, insight, and practical tips.

Resources & Key Terms Mentioned:

Kayva Jha, wound care specialist and podcast guest on Grandma Has ADHD, discussing ADHD and wound healing challenges in adults over 50

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